If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible? Some people are like clouds. 137. Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? 198. Why did the school kids eat their homework? 206.
54. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? 26. I am sorry not everyone will have the pleasure of knowing me., 14. 50. When, in fact, we must be optimistic and supportive of ourselves. no rich foods. I hope you enjoyed this article on funny affirmations! In between, I am alive. We need to hear a pin drop. I teach my kids good things in sarcastic ways. To the guy who created imaginary numbers in math: I hate you. Excuse me, I need to go be awesome today. 199. Life is always rocky when youre a gem. Maybe there are no excuses to be lazy, but Im still going to keep looking. 157. I can't make everyone happy, I'm not tequila. Really? Youre just gonna feel embarrassed for a minute or two and then it will be over. Im multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. Work smarter, not for owning iPhones, but for not fearing their breaks., 3.
100 Positive Affirmations for Kids (and Why They're so Important) 7. Shoot for the moon. 80. 85. Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? I am grateful for the healing power of humor. My cankles will hold me. - Catherine Pulsifer. I am adventurous. I wonder, do we lazy people go to heaven or do they send someone to pick us up? Its scary when it disappears. Let us know which of these motivational affirmations inspired you the most. The rest are too expensive. 49. Using humor can help you bridge the gap and empower you to believe in affirmations and their outcome. I am lazy till I get a motive. You can tune a guitar, but you cant tuna fish. "Start each day with a positive thought and a grateful heart.". If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button. Charles M. Schulz I dont like morning people, or mornings, or people. 27. Im old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. Education cost money. 5. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? "Today will be a great day". 151. 206. I didnt give a f*ck yesterday, I dont give a f*ck today, and I wont give a f*ck tomorrow either. I understand people talking about me.
85 Funny Wednesday Quotes, Sayings, Pics, and Images - The Random Vibez You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. 125. I am grateful for all that I have. 152. Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door. Heres a list of funny affirmations that will improve your mood instantly. If only common sense were more common. 224. The early bird catches the worm, eats more and dies sooner. So, watch your words, restructure your thoughts, and stay positive if you want to see a change in your life. Have a look! 21. 140. 75. I tell you what always catches my eye. It may look like Im doing nothing, but in my head, Im quite busy.
200+ Funny Life Quotes Dripping With Sarcasm And Wit - Scary Mommy - Donald Trump. Jackie Collins, 240. Sarcasm is a tool of highly intelligent people and if youre one of them (I bet you are), youre going to love these funny affirmations that are filled with humor and sarcasm. Bill Murray, 257. Finally, if you want a simple tool to record and recite these affirmations, then check out these 13 affirmations apps that help you create a positive mindset. Begin your days with these powerful, funny affirmations for self-esteem. You might enjoy: Affirmations: 13 Answers You Should Know Steven Alexander Wright 37. Need to send some positive energy your way? 187. 249. Monday I shall slay thee with me mighty cup of coffee. George Burns, 253. But a little chocolate now and then doesnt hurt. And a funny bone. I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays. Jackie Collins Enjoy! You know you are lazy when you get excited about canceling your plans. I can believe in myself for 5 minutes., 2. 79. Nobody gets out alive anyway. Maybe Monday doesn't like you either. Every day, read them aloud for the best results. I will tell the negative voice inside my head to shut up. 53. ( @malacollective) Fear and adventure go hand-in-hand when you're following your dreams. Smile today, tomorrow could be worse. I dont need you to remind me of my age at work, I have a bladder that will do that for me. It can get you out of a tight corner and people who lack a sense of humor cannot do. Not only can laughter improve our problem-solving skills, but it can also help battle various diseases. When affirmations make you feel good about yourself, they are most effective. I have Alzheimers bulimia, first I eat everything in sight and then I forget to puke. What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? I don't entertain negativity in any shape or form. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I cant see. Laughter has always been lauded for its therapeutic effects. 33. I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better. Feel free to pick a few of these affirmations and say them to yourself the next time youre overwhelmed, stressed, or just dealing with negative self-talk. However, just saying these statements out loud wont cut it. You were too lazy to read that number. Why couldnt the leopard play hide and seek? My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them. 204. 73.
18 Funny Positive Affirmations to Get Through Your Shitty Day If Im not there, I go to work. Robert Orben, 4. 238. - Irish Saying. You were too lazy to read that number. Whatever the case may be, a sense of humor can go a long way toward changing your perspective on negative occurrences in your life. Life is filled with highs and lows, stress and anxiety, so sometimes some funny and positive words will help you lighten up on an encouraging note. Dear universe, Im totally open to all of the amazing things coming my way., See also: 120 Best Spiritual Universe Quotes To Contemplate Life. 87. I heard a great joke about amnesia but I forgot it. 35. Its okay, he woke up. Can February march? It's why you may feel excinervous (aka excited and nervous at the same time). It has the power to add levity to our daily challenges. Never take life seriously. It doesnt work if it is not open. I just go normal from time to time. 235. I am on a seafood diet. Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when Im with you. 162. Whether its at other people or at ourselves, its good to laugh in life. To conclude this list of funny affirmations, heres a few that are specifically focused around work. My feelings are just like acquaintances, they come and go., 5. When shit hits the fan at work, I turn it into fertilizer. 215. When and How to Let Them Know, How To Cheer Yourself Up When Feeling Down, 5 Things To Discuss With Your Partner Before Marriage, Funny Positive Affirmations For Self-Esteem, 50+ Powerful Positive Affirmations For Exams, 70+ Positive Affirmations For Teens From Parents. I'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast. These funny ideas are smart and a bit sarcastic and will bring a smile to your face. 279. My chins are a stairway to heaven. Charles M. Schulz. I am capable of rewriting my grievances and transforming my fears. Youre born free, then youre taxed to death. You can think about your affirmations at work, while driving, when you practice yoga, and when you spend time with your . Sincerely, yourself., 2. Im like a postage stamp. 30. It gets toad away. My past is just a bad book that deserves to be in the trash., 9. I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. I am Ananya, a professional speaker and I love motivating people and inspiring them to pursue their dreams. Wake up and smell the birdshit on your windshield. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. I release all shame about my body. I can do this. Then perhaps youd find value in these articles on how to write affirmations and the benefits of affirmations. I bet giraffes dont even know what farts smell like. The library, because it has so many stories. 232. Required fields are marked *. Enjoy! New year, new me. I didnt mean to push all your buttons, I was just looking for the mute button. What do I do for a living? It doesnt work if it is not open. Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else? I could agree with you, but then wed both be wrong. What we say not only affects our lives but also has an impact on those around us. If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. Similar to how it's important to minimize distractions in the workplace, you need a few minutes of peace to focus and mindfully say your affirmations. 93. The world needs people like me to keep things interesting!, 15. 184. When you leave work on Friday, leave work. There comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldnt even jump puddles for you., 13. Breasts dont have eyes. I celebrate the highs, learn from the lows and now I release it into the past. So, why not team them up?
Top 40 Best Funny Affirmations To Make Your Day (2023) 12. Then, think about how easy it would be to say a simple statement to yourself throughout the day. Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. 17. Why did the school kids eat their homework? 8. 133. Oh sheet!. Ive been doing nothing for years. I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. I say what I want and i dont care what everyone else thinks about it. He who laughs last didnt get it. 271. Im in desperate need of a 6-month vacation, twice a year. Its not important to win, its important to make the other guy lose. Send me the link. Be kinder with yourself and change your thoughts for better health (physically and emotionally). 229. Laughter also has a social aspect, as its the perfect way to bond with people. - Unknown. 56. Never judge a book by its movie. Affirmations to wealth are a great way for you to organize your thoughts and develop a positive outlook. 27. 164.
20 Funny Positive Affirmations for Self-Esteem 141. Pardon me, I have 6 pounds of boneless mass to get rid of. 103. Dont worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. I am here not to compete because I know I am neither the fastest nor the smartest. Theres no stopping me now. 91. "After 30, a body has a mind of its own.". I thought you said extra fries. Because seven ate nine. 10. Microchips.
60 Happy Affirmations That Instantly Make You Feel Better A wishbone. 105. Youre talking to yourself. Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control. I hope you have a ridiculously amazing day. Happiness is a choice. Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you. Which affirmation put a smile on your face? 249.
Friday Affirmations: 20 Affirmations to Wind Down the Week If I am willing to go back to bed when I wake up, I will go and make up the bed. 193. Check out our funny affirmations selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our encouragement cards shops. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I cant see. 2. Even on my worst day, Ive still got 24 hours., 6. I walk in the direction of what feels good for my soul. My to-do list doesnt include dealing with negative people. You may feel a little embarrassed and vulnerable. 143. I love myself, which is why I dont need to love the idea of other people loving me., 12. I always find something funny in every situation. 63. You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. I dont cross oceans for people who wouldnt cross puddles for me. I dont go crazy, I am crazy. Im like a postage stamp. If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. Envelope. 39. 120. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wifes mother. I love the moment when the coffee kicks in and I realize what an adorable badass I am going to be today., 12.
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